The Weight of the Broken

So many broken hearts all around me today. The weight of it all tugs on my own to weigh me down. My mind swirls with the endless possibilities, the various scenarios, circumstances, and outcomes.

One heart is trampled after years of devotion, self-sacrifice and provision. Deceit and lies run rampant. Another is captivated by mistrust and fear, threatening to become the self-fulfilling prophecy through the tears. Still another is full of anger, bitterness and rage while pretending to love and adore a fantasy fabricated within the mind.

Oh dear Lord, how do we help them? How do we stop the bleeding? Can we even intervene? The pain is so great. The brokenness seems beyond repair. Is there any glimpse of hope to be found?

The questions thrash about like tornadoes through my head. Twisting and turning without end. We look to a book, a counsel, a song or a situation to correlate, to somehow make sense of this unfathomable reality.

Yet, no answer can be found in the carnal. No solution can be brought forth in mere words. No ears have the capacity to hear the true heartbeat of the broken.

The only answer is Jesus. The only shred of hope is Him. There is no guarantee of tomorrow. There is no promise of reconciliation, or even redemption, without His mercy and grace.

It may sound too cliche. It may sound like just another punchline, but I have found He is the only source of Truth. He is the only anchor that holds. He is the only Rock that stands when the whole world falls apart, and you’re wondering if you can even take the very next breath.

I can’t even walk without holding onto His hand.

He is all I need. ❤️

Your Wake of Tears

Your words constantly tumble out, as if no one truly understands. 

Your mouth moves methodically,never caring where the next victim lands. 

Your phrases spin detailed webs to catch your prey and bleed. 

It is like a blood-letting, all believe the lies you cast are exactly what they need. 
When will you see the tragic damage your envy has brought?

What destruction has your venomous language been wrought?

Why do you persuade and manipulate, claiming all the time it’s not yours still?

Who will be the next one on the list as you close in for the kill?

For an endless time, my eyes have witnessed this harm, the anger your ambition brings. 

I can no longer remain within the vicinity of your grasp and strings. 

I am leaving your wake of tears for I have shed too many to regain. 

It is in wisdom and grace and love and peace where my heart will now remain. 
Penned – MG – 5/20/17 

Live Now…There’s Nothing New

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We toil, and we struggle to get the work done in a day. We hurry here and hurry there, scrambling to stack the hours into weeks and weeks into years. We are constantly busy with something new, something pressing, something important that must be done right now, in this moment. 

Then a crisis hits. A tragedy befalls our friends or our family, and it seems everything changes in an instant. We are then focused on that problem, that issue, that crisis which has taken center stage. 

Too often, the everyday life and the momentary crises can take over, and we forget to live in the moment. We neglect the importance of living in the here and now. We bypass any and all around us, like an ostrich, we have our head in the sand, seeking dutiful ways to bow out” gracefully” of the life and purpose we live.  

King Solomon reminds us that in Ecclesiastes that “there is nothing new under the sun.” (Ecclesiastes 1:9) There is no new emergency that hasn’t been before. There will be no new ‘created agenda’ which has never been thought of or tried. Everything we encounter, someone else has already experienced. In one way or another, someone has walked that journey of pain, sorrow, joy or apprehension that you are walking right now. It is only new to us and our lives.  
Sometimes, we have but one moment to make an impact on a life around us, and we miss it, because we allow the cares of this world to blind us. Sometimes, we are placed in strategic locations, a funeral home, a hospital hallway, an ICU waiting room, even a grocery store line, to reach someone right in the moment of their need. If we are not living that moment deliberately, we can miss it! 

Let us never be so caught up in the present crises, the present family issue or anything else, that we fail to remember why we are here. Let us never be so consumed by the present chaos of our lives that we can’t live in this present moment and reach someone else whose life needs His hope maybe even more than we do. 

Tears Flow Like Rain

Sometimes, you just have to let the tears flow. Let them flow like rain. I’m not talking about manipulative water works here, those kind of tears found springing forth when a person is trying to work their own way in a situation they do not belong, or the kind of show that is selfish, ambitious, full of jealousy and greed.

No, I’m talking about drops of rain that rush forth from a broken and contrite soul. Tears which flow from a heart that is humbled before a righteous God.Tears can purify our thoughts as we allow His Spirit to wash over our soul. Tears can cleanse a wound and bring healing to the mind. Tears that are mingled with the conviction and power of the Holy Spirit can bring repentance, forgiveness, clarity and wholeness to the heart.

Personally,  I have always been the kind of person who can “cry at the drop of a hat,” not because I make myself, but rather because it seems I don’t know where the shut of valve is. 😂 Honestly,  there are times when that can get really annoying! Haha!😂 There was a time in my life when I hated crying, because I thought it made me appear weak, without strength or stamina; then, there were a few times I’d relish in those droplets that flowed, because I noticed the compassion that often followed. Over the years, I think I’ve just accepted them as my way of allowing God’s Spirit to cleanse mine.

I have concluded, it’s just a part of who I am. Tears are a part of my human make-up, and unless, I become hardened, bitter and mean, tears simply come with the territory of me. I suppose, I’d much rather be tender, sensitive and quick to shed a tear than rigid, barbed and hateful. At least this way, I can still fight the enemy with tears streaming down my face, and remain steadfast until the end, rather than becoming a robot, simply going through too much pain to even process and further damaging those within my sphere by my lack of empathy and love…

Dear New York

In honor of the fallen today, I am reposting this that I shared last October… We will never forget. 🇺🇸🗽

New York, your towers once stood so tall.

The face of pride and success for all.

Terror crept in without even a sound.

Inside your walls, their evil did pound.

My heart is broken, my eyes fill with tears.

Please know our God still lingers near.

I cry for your loss, your distress and your pain.

Now is not the time to worry about your gain.

Turn your eyes and look t’ward Jesus.

He will help heal your wounds. He must.

Look up and see your Savior’s great love.

He comforts as He sends His sweet dove.

His hand is just, sovereign and true.

If you’ll surrender, He can make you anew.

He longs for you to love Him and to serve Him.

Before all your lights are, once again, made dim.

Please don’t linger, turn away or wait.

Please do not put off till it is far too late.

He longs to hold you, to love you, to mend.

But He is a good God, He will now not force you to bend.

There will come a day of not another breath.

Every knee will bow, every tongue will confess.

He is the Lord of Lords and the King of Kings.

That day will be too late for your heart to sing.

His return is, oh, so very, very soon.

Turn your eyes to Him before the great boom.

He desires to help you, to cleanse you from all vice.

He loves you; He died for you. For you, He paid the great price.

Penned – MG – 9/11/02

Grace and Mercy

Bruised, shaking fists
Clenched, knuckle-white hands
Twisted face

Tightly closed-shut eyes
Letting in not a droplet of light
A life branded by pain
Where is the grace?
Where is the mercy?

A life cut short.
An unexplained sin.
A life-long disease.

The wounded, wound.
The pained cause pain.
The abused, abuse.

Oh, God, my heart grieves.
My eyes weep till tears are no more.
My knuckles are bloody from the pain.
Where is the grace?
Where is the mercy?

The flowers are denied their bloom.
The sun refuses to rise to give any warmth.
The wind will not send the breeze.

The world has turned gray.
The laughter is silent for miles.
The innocence has been hidden.
When will this pain end?
When will this grief hide?

This brokenness, a bloody mess.

These wounds and scars too deep to heal.
We clutch at life. No heartbeat is felt.
The air is toxic. No breath can be found.
Where is Your grace?
Where is Your mercy now?

It is found at the cross.
That bleeding, broken, wretched place. That is where Your grace abounds.
As You watched Your own Son die, You saw our sin. You saw our redemption.
It was there, Your grace and mercy from death began its prevention.

We only see what isn’t.
The grief. The emptiness. The death. We live with the loss.
The regret. The shame. The failure.
We see only the holes on the canvas of life.
Never realizing the void can be filled again with a joy that overflows, a love that is unconditional, a grace that is unending.

In the pain, knowledge is built.
In the sorrow, wisdom is rendered.
Emotions raw and undone.
Words broken and unsung.
How can we find this grace?
How can we receive this mercy?

Run into His loving arms.
Take His guiding hand to lead, to love.
Living breathless or breathless living.
Living fully or lifeless living.
More than alive or just less than dead.
We choose. We decide. We live life or death.

Penned – MG – 1/23/15

A Season For Tears…A Season For Cheer

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Yesterday, I was so emotional all day, I felt I had to hold back the tears with all my might. It all began when I read a Facebook status update from a friend and relative who has lost her grandmother and grandfather within almost a month of each other and how she is struggling with the grief while trying to maintain a cheerful home for her children during the holidays. The feelings just washed over me like a tidal wave of how much I miss my own grandfather, even though, he’s been gone for over 12 years now. So much changed within my family after his death, and without him here, it will never be the same. Christmas has never been the same without him.

Several times throughout the day, I thought of him, and I began thinking of so many who have lost a mom, a dad, a child, or another loved one during this past year and even those who have lost someone during the past several years. I, also, thought of so many families I know who are facing divorce, or have already divorced, and even though their significant other hasn’t died physically, their love has died, and that is as painful as the reality of death. Losing a precious family member or friend makes the holidays a little tougher to handle. It makes the cheer and the joy of the season seem a little less festive, and sometimes, it makes it a lot less festive, maybe not even worth celebrating at all. Often, losing a loved one, especially those who filled such a huge part of our heart and our home, makes the Christmas season almost unbearable. Everyone else is cheerful, excited and filled with joy for all the wonderful things that bring the love of Christmas, and our world has just turned a little more gray from the loss of color with which our loved one took away.

If you are one whose world is a little more gray today, there is hope! It’s not a fairy tale, and it’s not a fallacy. It’s not a plastic mask which you wear just to convince your family that you’re okay. It’s, also, not a “snap of the finger and you’re perfect” solution, and it’s not a formula nor is it a potion or a thought. It’s not even an “it.” It’s a person, a Messiah, a Savior and a King.

His name is Jesus. He can comfort your heart and encourage your soul. He can give you peace which surpasses understanding. He can consume your mind with good thoughts, and He can give you a reason to get up one more day. He is HOPE. He is LOVE. He is LIFE, and He can give you all this and more. All you have to do is call on His name, and He will answer. He will wrap you in His arms of love, and He will give you purpose again. All you have to do is just trust Him.

For all of us who have learned to cope with the deep scars of loss, and for those who have yet to experience this heart-wrenching pain, maybe we can be a little kinder to those who are hurting this Christmas season. Maybe we can be a little more attentive to those who may not feel as festive as we expect them to be. Maybe we can share a little more love, a little more encouragement, a little more hope. Those of us who have found this One Hope who helps us survive through the darkest of nights, we must share Him with those around us. We must share this Hope with a hurting and desperate world. We must share why our Christmas is so Merry.

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“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”  Isaiah 9:6

 

Down the Road a bit

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Just down the road a bit, we shall have no pain. We shall have no sickness. We shall have no sorrow or strife.
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Just down the road a bit, we will have no more heartache. We will have no brokenness. We will have no more hatred or violence.
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Just down the road a bit, we will rest in comfort. We will lie down in peace. We will walk and not grow weary. We will rejoice and live in heaven forevermore!
…Are you ready??
Just believe.


“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”
Revelation 21:4

Goodbye, Pa”T”

~ Saying goodbye to my grandfather … He was like a father to me … I miss him still. ~

So many memories fill my mind.

So many days, so many years, my tears make me blind.

Oh, Pa”T”, how I will miss you.

My heart is now breaking in two.

So many future things make me wonder and dream.

So many joys, so many sorrows, you are with still, it seems.

Oh, Pa”T”, how I will look forward to the other side.

My heart rejoices and, in Christ, it abides.

It’s as if I can see you at those pearly gates.

For all your loved ones and friends, you eagerly await.

I can see you waving and shining a grin.

I can see your new body is not at all like it’s been.

Oh, I cannot wait to see your lovely face.

Oh, what strong arms you’ll once again have to embrace.

We’ll dance and we’ll sing for many days on end.

No more counted days to us will be lent.

So many memories fill my weary soul.

So many days, so many years, the tears, they overflow.

Oh, Pa”T”, how we will miss you.

But now, you are made brand new.

So many future scenes make me smile and sigh.

So many joys, so many sorrows, you’re only a temporary goodbye.

Oh, Pa”T”, how I eagerly search for heaven now.

My heart leaps for the time when together before our King we shall bow.

Penned – MG – 10/6/02 … the day we said Goodbye …

Gossip

Voices screaming at me from all directions

Attacking my body with fire and spears

Never seeing my heart that is bursting

Always believing their own accusations

Tears stream down my face like the rain

Darkness consumes my very being

Shrieks of terror escape my lips

Innocent ears naïve to the shame

Anger and hatred again are stabbing me

Cries for mercy never to be heard

Guilt and anguish fill my mind with pain

Dropped to my knees unable to be free

Penned – 9/28/92 – MG