The Weight of the Broken

So many broken hearts all around me today. The weight of it all tugs on my own to weigh me down. My mind swirls with the endless possibilities, the various scenarios, circumstances, and outcomes.

One heart is trampled after years of devotion, self-sacrifice and provision. Deceit and lies run rampant. Another is captivated by mistrust and fear, threatening to become the self-fulfilling prophecy through the tears. Still another is full of anger, bitterness and rage while pretending to love and adore a fantasy fabricated within the mind.

Oh dear Lord, how do we help them? How do we stop the bleeding? Can we even intervene? The pain is so great. The brokenness seems beyond repair. Is there any glimpse of hope to be found?

The questions thrash about like tornadoes through my head. Twisting and turning without end. We look to a book, a counsel, a song or a situation to correlate, to somehow make sense of this unfathomable reality.

Yet, no answer can be found in the carnal. No solution can be brought forth in mere words. No ears have the capacity to hear the true heartbeat of the broken.

The only answer is Jesus. The only shred of hope is Him. There is no guarantee of tomorrow. There is no promise of reconciliation, or even redemption, without His mercy and grace.

It may sound too cliche. It may sound like just another punchline, but I have found He is the only source of Truth. He is the only anchor that holds. He is the only Rock that stands when the whole world falls apart, and you’re wondering if you can even take the very next breath.

I can’t even walk without holding onto His hand.

He is all I need. ❤️

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No More

You always come when I’m feeling fine

You come haunting, taunting, pushing the line

You always come when I’m feeling down

You come accusing, assaulting, screaming until I’m bound

I’ve listened to your guile, your awful protests misaligned

I’ve received your vicious hatred and allowed it to confine

I’ve been consumed by this overwhelming, nagging fear

I’ve stood paralyzed and dejected, feeling you ever near

Yet, today, I’ve had enough. I am done.

No more will you ridicule, insult and spew lies like a gun

No more will you have control of my feelings, emotions and thoughts

I am vanquishing you for my price has already been bought.

You have no more authority. I suggest you now leave.

If you try to remain, your dignity will be relieved

I am free from your bondage. Looking back will not be my game.

I am released from my captivity. Going forward, I have a new name.

Penned – MG – 5/19/18

Say it with me… “NO.”

Boundaries are made to keep you healthy. Boundaries are given to keep toxicity out. Boundaries are taken from those who never set them. Boundaries are best when set, supported and reinforced.

Sometimes, we are living a life that is tiresome, weary and chaotic, because we continue to allow others to ignore the boundaries we’d like to have but never really put into place. Sometimes, our hearts are in utter turmoil, because we continue to complain about our conditions of relationship but never take steps to change them.

Boundaries are needed for peace to be found. Boundaries are necessary for joy to be restored. Boundaries are essential for sanity to be maintained.

How strong are your boundaries?

It’s All Gone

When our words are cross 

Time stands still

All the joy is gone

And I can’t find my will

When our looks are stern

Clouds roll in

All the fun times are gone 

And the wages are sin

When silence is strong 

Darkness falls

All the laughter is gone

And the buildings are walls

When you’re not with me 

Life turns gray

All the sunshine hides

And I can’t find the day

Please come back to me…

Penned – MG – 5/11/17

Living In The Reality of What Is

(Proposed Reality vs. Fantasized Perspective)
Living in the reality of what is rather than the fantasy of what should be is so important, even when it proves to be painful and awkward. Living in the reality of what is may not always be the most enjoyable spot, but it sure beats the foolishness and perpetual agony of the fantasy of what should be. Living in the fantasy of what should be might seem fun and even peaceful for a moment, but it will only bring deeper pain when the fantasy proves to be untrue and a waste of so much time. Let me share with you why…

In the fantasized perspective, you will:

* Imagine yourself being someone you’re not. You will fabricate a whole new personality, character and interaction than what is actually true. 

* Trade the true affection and acceptance from those who love and care for you and replace it with the fabricated affections of those who will only use and abuse you. 

* Fantasize about what could have been, should have been or what would have been, had things or people just been different and live in a perpetual state of denial, blame and justification. 

* Accept a false reality in the attempts of achieving the fantasized world of which you have dreamt. 

* Accept the reality someone else gives you to live. 

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In the proposed reality, you will:  

* Recognize who you are and who you are not and embrace whom God has called you to be. 

* Grow beyond what or whom you desired to have and embrace your God given purpose and engagements. 

* Have to accept that you are unwanted, unloved and unaccepted by the crowd in which you long to belong, but also, open your eyes to see who truly does want you, love you and accept you for who you are. 

* Let go of false expectations and embrace the reality of where you are and to where you are commissioned by God. 

* Accept the reality God brings to you. 
Through those painful moments of life, I have often been tempted, to slip into the fantasy of what could have been or should have been; however, I have learned over the years, this temptation is just that, a temptation for a counterfeit in my life. As I grow older, I have learned (and sometimes, am still learning) to embrace those people and things of value in my life and just let go of those of a fantasized value. I’ve learned to count my many blessings and realize those who aren’t or who have no desire to be in my life don’t need to be fantasized into the beautiful tapestry of life God has woven for me. Because of this, my life has become much fuller and richer. 

Living in a fantasy of what should be might bring you a temporary joy, but it is an exhausting journey that will leave you washed up like a broken seashell on the shore, and it will unravel any shred of peace and serenity you might find. We were never created to live in that fantasy. We were never called to fabricate a fairytale in which to abide. God created us to be who we are, and He called us to a time, a purpose and a people. It is our job to seek out that calling, get busy fulfilling it and let all the rest of that stuff go! 

…otherwise, you end up living your life like this…😂

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Trapped Again!

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.
Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”
Gal. 5:1

This Scripture came up today in my Youverse app, and even though, I’ve read it many times before, it seemed to settle in a little deeper this time. Have you ever had that happen? You’re re-reading a scripture that you’ve read for years, but that next time, it’s like reading it for the very first time all over again, because God seems to speak to your heart in that very moment.

That’s how it was today. I’ve been doing this bible study on the power of our words, and it has really been strengthening my faith, challenging my flesh and transforming my words. This past week, we were studying the lesson on gentle words and memorizing the Scripture in Provers 15:1, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” …You would know, the one week when the stress loads of life are heavy on our boys and me, schedules are tight, tension is heightened, and words are short and snappy every day, that this is our memory verse and the lesson I’ve got to study and share with the class! …geez! Talk about feeling like a hypocrite! 😑

Regardless of the feelings, I kept studying, and God kept convicting my heart, reshaping my responses and working the repentance out of my mouth. By the day class time rolled around, I had made my mistakes and my confesssions and worked out a plan for us all to do things better this coming week. Amazing how, sometimes,  we have learn how to “adult better” alongside our children. 😉… I guess, if we were perfect, we’d be in heaven already; so, I’m all for the learning.

What struck me about this verse in Galatians is how, too often, we realize those sins of which we need to repent, we ask for forgiveness, and we think we’ve move beyond them; yet, somewhere along the way, we find ourselves trapped again by the very things that tripped us up in the beginning! How does that even happen?

Thinking over this, I was led to another well known scripture in 1 Peter 5:8, “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” The devil is always seeking to destroy us. His search for our weak spots, and his schemes to bring us down never stop! He is relentless in His strategy to take us out!

However, I believe, our daily struggle to crucify our flesh (or die to selfishness) and feed our spirit (or live more like Christ) isn’t always so relentless. We get distracted by the cares of this world. We become negligent in the studying of His Word and in the seeking of His face. We allow “the little foxes to spoil the vine,” so to speak, and the battle (for our freedom from sin) becomes lost as we stop being vigilant in our fight. We start lowering our shield of faith and raising our selfish ambitions and outlooks. We start laying down our sword of the spirit to rather pick up those things from which we have been freed, as we become more “me” focused and so much less “Christ” focused. Before too long, we find ourselves ensnared with the very things He freed us from years before.

This is not what Jesus plans for us! This is not what He desires. Let us fight this good fight of faith. Let us not return to those sins for which He died. Let us live freely in the freedom (from sin) He has given us, and let us finish this race well! … There is a generation, of both young people and young Christians, coming behind us. They need for us to remain free and to finish well. Then, we might be able to share our story with them on how it’s done and allow our legacy of faith to be passed on. Live free today!

Love Me Challenge #23

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Some might say my best feature is my smile. My friends might say it’s my eyes. I’ve heard others say it might be my hair or my tall physique. My husband would say…well, he just left the room when I asked him; so, I guess, I won’t be getting his answer for this post. If you ask me, my first response would be, “I don’t know.” This is really a difficult one for me, because I don’t like looking at myself and trying to figure out these kinds of answers. I’d rather talk about you and brag on your best feature(s). That is much more fun!

Yet, if I could say what I’d like my best feature to be is not something you will see at first glance, and it might not even be something you’ll notice at our first meeting of one another. However, once you get to know me, you’ll see I have a quiet, gentle way about me, and I have a knack for noticing small details. Sometimes, this trait will make me excruciatingly slow and meticulous, but when I’m “on it,” it allows me to see things others might miss. It causes me to see a pain in someone’s eyes when all the room sees their smile. It creates within me an ability to connect with the quiet, the lonely and the fearful. It allows me to see past the facade and smokescreen that someone may be giving in order to see the inner need to just belong and be loved.

I may not always see those little details, and I may very well “miss it” from time to time; however, when I’m listening closely to His voice and being in tune with His direction, this small ability becomes a great big asset in the Father’s hands, to be used for His glory, not because I’m ‘all that’ but because HE is.

Love Me Challenge #19

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Something I feel strongly about…

There are few things for which I will live and die, but these are a few…

My God

All He is to me, all He’s done for me, and all He has promised

He has created my world. He sustains my world. He is my world.

 

My Loves

Who they are and what they mean to me

They are my world.

 

PS. Just as a side note… too often, in today’s culture, there are too many “fighting and dying” for so many things of not much value and not much “reward.” When you choose to ‘feel strongly’ about something, and you choose to fight for it, just make sure it is truly something worth fighting for, not just the latest trend or the latest, greatest and loudest scheme of the politicians or other agenda driven group to get your attention! 😉 …There are things for which to fight, and there are things for which to sacrifice a life, just make sure you are certain those things are right! … okay, that is all. 🙂

 

 

 

Love Me Challenge #16

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Something I like about myself is, also, something I dislike at times. I am a very soft spoken person, and someone who works overtime to not impose upon other people. Generally, I keep my thoughts to myself, and I’d prefer to speak when spoken to rather than speak out of turn. 

For those of you who struggle with your extroverted personalities might think you would love to have this personality trait; however, for those of us “blessed with such a skill” might have quite a difference of opinion. However, this post today is about what I like about me; so, what I like about it…

Walking into a crowded room, I can slip in almost unnoticed, find a friend and smile before everyone realizes how lonely I might be feeling that day. When someone hurts my feelings or makes me mad, I can hold my tongue until I’m over it, and I don’t have to worry about saying something stupid I might regret. When there is someone else hurting or alone, I can come beside them and help them carry the load, ever aware of the possibility of pushing too hard or staying too long. When a friend is in need of someone, but doesn’t need noise and fanfare, I can sit for hours just enjoying the company and offering a helping hand. When my children are acting like hooligans, I can calmly walk up to them, whisper their tiny thread of existence between joy and utter sorrow and walk away… well, no, that’s not quite the truth. I’m sorry, I don’t have that much patience or soft spoken qualities.😂 

As with any strength, there are equal traits that will make it a weakness when I let it. There were years when I hated this quality about myself, and honestly, there are plenty of days when I still struggle with this love/hate relationship I have built. However, as I am growing older, I am accepting the fact that God made me this way for a specific reason, and I am learning to grow with it, relish in it and explore beyond it. 

If for no other reason, I am finding more and more that one of the greatest reasons He created me in this way is because He decided to place me in a home with three very strong, outspoken, outgoing men. I bring a great balance to all the activity and noise, and He knew that I, for one, would need it! 😉💗

Assuming

Expectations. 

Assumptions. 

We all have them. We all give them. Yet, sometimes, I think we have too many, and we assert them too quickly…let’s be real for a minute…I know I do, at times…and I’m working on that.

We can’t assume we know the person nor from whence they come lest the road alongside them we travel. This can, especially, happen in the blogging world, can’t it? Let me give you an example of what I’m talking about…

I was reading a blog entry on day, and this young woman had written about the man she was missing. “…can’t breathe. Can’t sleep….sad…he’s been gone two years…” The impression was, for me, she was missing him from death. I commented to her of prayers for her loss, praying she would find comfort and grace. Then, as I read other comments, and her response, I come to realize the guy just keeps coming back and leaving. Ok, so, that was a little annoying! (Just being honest here) At first, I felt bad for her, as she grieved; however, it seemed to, now, be a pattern which she was allowing. That isn’t true grief; that’s being used and making room for it. 
Another blog entry from someone else showed pictures of beauty, words of joy. It was inspiring, encouraging. After I sent a comment, the reply I received proved she was heartbroken and desperate.
We truly can never judge a book by its cover. We can never judge a life by its appearance and, sometimes, not even by their spoken words. There are so many hurting, dying people in this world, and they will simply paint a face of happiness to shield them from further pain. They will simply withdraw; so, no one realizes the depression…because, after all, the outside world never really understands that emotion much anyway. If you don’t believe me, just open the paper and read of the heartbreaking suicides where the friends state they had no clue the person was unstable, because they simply did their job and went home. 

We can only truly know a person’s heart when we walk hand in hand, when we gently ask and are allowed inside the gates of a guarded soul, when they allow us to see their vulnerability and their truth. Sometimes, this can come simply by asking. There are those who are just waiting for someone to show they care. There are others with whom it will take days, months or even years to crack the solid built encasing of their heart, because they have fortified it for years. 

We have to determine how much we truly care and how much time we are willing to give in each relationship. Sometimes, we are too busy to give the adequate care, and so, we simply assume a certain thing, and never try to understand. Other times, we don’t have the right tools to do the hard work of listening and learning, because, after all, that’s not our personality, not our gifting, or even, not our calling. Often, it may be that the other person doesn’t have the ability to give, because so much has been taken from them. The stories and scenarios are endless. It’s so hard to know. 

Yet, for those whom we truly love, for those with whom we find our worlds colliding, we must be able to give the time and attention to break down the expectations and put away the assumptions so that true friendships and deep relationships will last. We may not understand, but the longer we walk the road together, we can learn together. We begin to see “by and by.”