The Chasm

So many hurting souls

So much sickness

So much pain

They hold onto hopelessness

They hold onto chains 

 

So many broken lives

So much confusion

So much strife

They hold onto faithlessness

They hold onto knives 

 

My heart weeps at the loss

My spirit grieves at the void

The chasms of empty souls deepen

As all wisdom is forsaken

And all fallacies are breathed in 

 

My eyes strain from the hurt

My hands grasp for sanity and relief

This canyon of death is all-consuming

As they jump for loss of reason

And crash to the end, never resuming 

 

There is only on chance of survival

Only One can mend this paroxysm 

 

So many truths to give

So much forgiveness

So much love

He holds the very breaths we breathe

He holds the good gifts from above 

 

So many fulfilling promises

So much mercy

So much grace

He holds the moments within His hands

He holds our very life to embrace 

 

Penned – MG – 10/30/14

The Empty Chair

IMG_7642.JPG
It stands alone. If you look at it for very long, you might determine it’s lonely; however, it’s made to bring comfort to the weary traveler, and it does its job very well. It may be an elderly woman who just needed a quick rest before finishing her walk back to her room. It may be the young, new mom who tries desperately to get her newborn back to sleep. It may be the young teen who kicks back to watch the game, only to find his favorite team didn’t fair too great today. It may be the bench upon which the newlyweds pose for the pictures of their new life together. The chair can provide so many comforts.
Or maybe it has a more pragmatic approach today…the husband grabs it to stand upon while replacing the bulb overhead. The grandmother uses it to reach the box at the top of the closet, you know, the one with the pretty shoes for that special occasion. The children silently move it over to obtain the hidden cookies in the cabinet that mom thought she had secretly hid. The friend slides it back to be there for her ‘bestie’ who just suffered a breakup. The chair can serve in so many practical ways.
Or maybe it’s there for a more elite purpose, for appearance sake…the studio bought it for the upcoming celebrity shots and publicity showing. The antique store bought it to draw in a crowd, desiring top dollar at the next auction. The millionaire bought it to complement his prestigious office, never to be sat upon, of course, only for lust and desire. The chair can serve such audacious purposes.
Yet, did you ever wonder who was once there? Was it a frightened young girl who crawled up in her Daddy’s arms to chase away the storm? Was it a teenage girl longing for a tan to turn a few heads, never realizing she’s beautiful even without the change? Maybe it was the new mom who just laid her baby down but needs to stay just a moment longer to watch him breathe and assure her beating heart that he will awake in the mourn. Maybe it was the returning hero who left too much in the war but is overwhelmed by the love and applause he receives while arriving home. Maybe it was the elderly man who used to watch his wife as she kissed him goodnight, but now, he sits all alone reminiscing of years gone by.
The chair can tell us so many things yet leave so many stories untold. Often, when you see a chair and its owner resting in the same place, over time, they seem to mold to one another’s character. When he or she leaves that place, the chair seems to be missing a valuable part of life; sometimes, it even seems to sag without its owner’s presence. Could it possibly have elated feelings, and maybe even a sigh of relief, when the owner returns from too long of a vacation or an extended walk upon the beach? … Have you ever wondered when you see an empty chair?

Bigger Than Life

IMG_3672.PNG

I experienced one of the greatest losses of my life 12 years ago today. You see, my grandfather was bigger than life. When he walked in a room, he owned that room. He had the personality of a John Wayne, never meeting a stranger and never afraid to “get up on that horse,” no matter how many fears he had inside. In fact, as a child, I was convinced he couldn’t possibly have any fears!

He was born in a small, no name kind of town, a son born into poverty and of low education. When he was 15, he was told by a banker he was worthless and didn’t deserve the money he was seeking. He told the man that one day he would prove him wrong, and he did just that. He began his own HVAC company, became a county commissioner, retired from his business when I was just a little girl, and went back to buy out that banker, only to find the man had already lost his place. He believed in hard work and the common decency among men. He could spin the biggest tale, keeping you entertained for hours; yet, when it came to business, he believed in integrity, fairness and an honest wage for honest work.

He stood at six feet four inches tall, wore Stetson hats and alligator boots (or the nicest, toughest boots found in the store that day), and he struck up conversation with every person he encountered on the park bench while waiting for his wife to finish shopping. He could wrestle and kill a six-foot rattler, and he’d do the same to a six-foot man if he threatened a child (which actually happened once!). He loved his wife, his two girls, and his four grands (and their spouses), even if his gruffness hid that love most of the time. He believed in taking care of what you have and working hard for what you want. One of his famous lines was, “Take care of your equipment, and your equipment will take care of you!”

He was like a Daddy to me. My mom was single for most of my childhood, and he just kind of filled in that gap. He made sure I was clothed, fed and had just about all I wanted or needed in life. He’d pick me up after school in his old Ford Ranchero, and we’d stop by the Stuckeys gas station to get some candy…that was back when you could get a piece of candy for a dime and a coke for fifty cents; so, I always loaded up with the $3-5 he gave me!
He taught me how to fish and how to clean them; although, he always handled the knives. He bought me my first car, and even though, he had the money to pay cash for it, he set me up with monthly payments; so, I could learn how to pay bills and manage a checkbook properly. He always had a bear hug waiting and would never let me leave without a little cash in my pocket. He loved me something fierce, and I loved him right back the same.

When he left this world, he took some of its color with him, and my life has never been the same. He sure wasn’t perfect, but he brought a little perfection into my world. They say, “Time heals all pain,” but I have to disagree. Time doesn’t really heal grief, only Jesus can do that. Time just simply helps you learn how to tolerate the pain and be able to “categorize it” within your own heart. It helps you to see more clearly, and if you choose it to, time allows you to help someone else along the same journey.

I’ll miss him until the day I die, and I’ll keep his memories alive for my children to remember what a great legacy we have.

Goodbye, Pa”T”

~ Saying goodbye to my grandfather … He was like a father to me … I miss him still. ~

So many memories fill my mind.

So many days, so many years, my tears make me blind.

Oh, Pa”T”, how I will miss you.

My heart is now breaking in two.

So many future things make me wonder and dream.

So many joys, so many sorrows, you are with still, it seems.

Oh, Pa”T”, how I will look forward to the other side.

My heart rejoices and, in Christ, it abides.

It’s as if I can see you at those pearly gates.

For all your loved ones and friends, you eagerly await.

I can see you waving and shining a grin.

I can see your new body is not at all like it’s been.

Oh, I cannot wait to see your lovely face.

Oh, what strong arms you’ll once again have to embrace.

We’ll dance and we’ll sing for many days on end.

No more counted days to us will be lent.

So many memories fill my weary soul.

So many days, so many years, the tears, they overflow.

Oh, Pa”T”, how we will miss you.

But now, you are made brand new.

So many future scenes make me smile and sigh.

So many joys, so many sorrows, you’re only a temporary goodbye.

Oh, Pa”T”, how I eagerly search for heaven now.

My heart leaps for the time when together before our King we shall bow.

Penned – MG – 10/6/02 … the day we said Goodbye …

Why her, Lord?

     Why her, Lord?

                                  Why?

She had her whole life ahead of her

She had so much to give

     Why her, God?

                                 Why?

We all ask why? now that she’s gone

But now it is too late. We cannot right the wrong.

My heart is broken. I feel as if she was one of my very own.

But remember, God only gives them to us on a loan.

He is in control. He is still reigning from His throne.

He may be calling you to recognize what you have sown.

We all wish she could come back and be with us to bond.

But time has passed, a new day has dawned.

     Why her, Lord?

                                  Why?

Your purpose for her is so much more.

Your sovereignty has already been shown.

     Why her, God?

                                 Why?

 

Penned – MG – 9/27/98…9/21/03