Today, I’d like to share with you a piece our oldest son wrote the other day… his honesty through prose simply amazes me and humbles me…
Pretend your heart is like white converse. You wanna keep it clean so you pray and worship while you’re at church, but once you go to school, you may cuss someone out cuz they “hurch” you. And it’s like dirt, cuz it ruins your reputation. You see reputation comes along with your outspoken salvation. Cuz, once you’ve made an example to one person, it’ll spread. And though you may apologize, you’ll keep living in dread, cuz of the one thing you maybe said keeps coming back to guilt you. So, you think that if you keep doing it, you’ll be okay, but to your dismay, you just dig yourself a deeper hole. So, when you lie about it to your parents, your mindset will take its toll and mess you up much more than you could ever imagine. Your demons turn into dragons, and you have these night visions of flames of hell engulfing you while you’re waiting for God to start talking to you, but you’re too far gone, because you haven’t confessed of what you’ve done. So you try and run. Run from the ones you hurt and skurt to a last resort to be like Kurt. You start to flirt with death. But all around you, it’s like Macbeth, cuz your world is falling apart at the seams when you replay the memories like scenes in a movie until you can’t take it anymore, and you fall apart. This is a lot of what I’ve been going through. I’ve been lost, not knowing what to do, until I talked to someone, and he told me the truth, and I’ve been trying to get closer. Closer to who I need to be. Now, if you can see where I’m going, I ask for you to accept my apology. I know it’ll take time, and I need a clean slate and accountability, but if I confess and repent, the Lord will help. So, I ask if you could forgive me for what I ruined with y’all, and after I’ve knelt before God, I hope I can make things right. That’s all I have to say tonight. Thank you.
Penned – JG – 3/28/17
the grizzle grist mill 