My Deepest Me

I heard a song the other day with this line in it: 

“You met me in my deepest Me… Grace met me there”

It made me ponder that thought for awhile
Me…that’s who I am. 
I’m not you. I’m not her. I’m definitely not him. 
I’m not that wife, that mom, that dr, or that waitress 
I’m not your mom (except JGrizz’s and JMan’s!), your sister or your aunt 
I’m just Me…that’s who I am. 

Me…it’s not always a pretty place 
Sure, I can paint on a pretty smile and fix my hair just right
I can put on a nice suit and pull myself together just the way I should 
I can say sweet words and shake hands and give you a great big hug if you need it

But I sure can snap at my kids early on a Sunday morning when I’m running late
I can battle thoughts of jealousy, selfishness and just plain rudeness sometimes. 
I can be unkind to my husband, envious of the times someone might need his attention when I really need to talk to him 
Me…can be a not so gracious place
Me…can be a deep, dark, sometimes even stinky place 

I can be grouchy. I can be angry. I can be rude, sharp and even hostile. 
I can be unkind, unreliable and unfriendly. 
I can even be lazy, forgetful and unforgiving. 
Me…it’s not always a place I enjoy to be. 
Me…it’s not always a person I like to see. 
But I have found, He always meets me in the deepest of Me
He always meets me in the deepest places where others won’t brave the approach 
He always surrounds me in the darkest moments of my soul when I wonder and doubt if He’s even there
He always consumes my heart to remind me that no matter what I’ve done He still cares. 

Because when I’m Me..
He can heal
He can restore
He can bind
He can refine
When I’m Me…
He can purify
He can cleanse
He can redeem
He can transform what is seen

You see, when I’m Me, My flesh is too much for my world to handle. 
This is not a good thing, as some would presume.
Because left to me, I will die. 
I will destroy and I will reek havoc on the lives I encounter. 
Yet, left to Him…
He can reach
He can save 
He can heal

 
He will never falter. 



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